7 more days.
Sigh.
I’m rethinking moving back to Florida. Even if Jose and I are only going to be apart for a month or two, it’s still weighing on me pretty heavy. I’ve seen him everyday for the last 6 months, I moved here to be closer to him for a reason. Life sucks without him. Yes, I am miserable here, but it’s not because I’m unhappy with him. I hate that we can’t find full time jobs here and move out of his mothers house, but it happens. I’ll have him in a few months and we will be in our own apartment and able to grow as a couple. At least I know in Florida I’ll have a stable job and I’ll be able to pay my own bills and not rely on anyone else.
For the past month I’ve done everything to push out how I really felt. I’ve been angry and mean and that wasn’t right of me. Now I’m sad and depressed. Looking at Sebastian makes me cry instantly. I told him I was going on the airplane and he told me no, I couldn’t go! I know this is going to hurt him the most.
I’ll be okay. Eventually.