Lately, I’ve been back into my “Pin Up” fascination. I love the thick liner/simple eyes and POP lip. I used to love this look and I did it all the time. Simple. Fast. GORGEOUS! This was my face of the day on Friday. We went to look at reception locations for my sister’s wedding (EEEEEE!!!), actually, we didn’t get there. The transmission of the car we were in overheated when we got on the interstate. Turned into a little mini adventure. Overall, it was an awesome day though. The melding of two families! Although, my sister is marrying her boyfriend she has been dating since Freshman year…she’s 25. So, we’re pretty much family anyways. I’ve been pinning crazy crazy amounts of wedding stuff on Pinterest lately. Do you have one? Do we follow eachother? Expect lots of wedding themed posts and girlyness in the coming months. I still need to get with Amber about changing my link/blog name.. I cannot have this name anymore. Reminds me of the ex. ANYWAYS! This was a post about my pin up makeup and turned into babble! Here I am! :

In this photo all I have on is eyeliner (MAC Fluidline in Black Track), and mascara Maybelline Falsies

On the Lips: MAC Creemsheen Lipstick in Lickable – I’ve been telling people Kissable, OOPS! + Creemsheen Glass in ‘Loud & Lovely

Since I am now unemployed, I’ll have way more free time to commit to actually blogging. What shall I blog about now that I have no life? NONSENSE, That’s what! Just need a fresh name and a fresh start and I’ll be good to go.

I disappeared again! Honestly, I haven’t…I’ve been around. I started a Weight Loss Blog over on Tumblr, and I’ve been spending a lot of time perfecting that. I will go into my new diet and work out regimen once I get into it. (I’m starting tomorrow! Back at the gym, strict diet, etc) I’m extremely excited about it. That’s not what this post is about though…

I am so blessed to have such great friends. I’m extremely thankful for my job because that is where I met all of them. They’re all such extraordinary people, and all different in their own ways, but we all seem to compliment eachother very well. I’ve learned a lot throughout my year at this new job. They’ve each taught me different things. They’ve strengthened my faith and my belief in myself. I’ve never known what it felt like to have a support system of friends like I do now, and I am so grateful for all of you! (Since I know at least two of the lovely ladies I’m speaking of do read my blog…when I update it).

I had the pleasure of posing for pictures for one of my friends, Shayna. She’s an up and coming photographer-I think she’s great at it! Ever since I got my tattoo, she wanted to take some pictures of it. They came out so great and I’m so thankful that she took time out of her schedule to hang out and do this with me. I’ll post a few of my favorites below, but feel free to check out her blog (http://makingofasoutherngirl.wordpress.com/ ) to see her post on her “The Letter T” assignment, featuring me, as well as other photos, lessons in gratitude, and her first year of “Southern Living”. I absolutely adore her and her blog, I think you guys will too!!

Onto the pictures (I, of course, am a fan of messing with exposure, saturation, and a little cross processing..so these are her originals, but messed with):

And last but not least, this one is my favorite because.. I mean, do you have to ask? Haha!

*(As always, click on the picture to view the actual size!)*

Very rarely, you’ll get a post like this from me: something beauty related. Because let’s face it, deep down inside I’m a “beauty blogger”, I’m just too damn lazy to do so.

I come baring a review, one of the first that I’ve done in a long time. So let’s cut to the chase! Today we’re reviewing MAC’s Haute & Naughty Lash Mascara (($18.00)):

Product: 2/10
Value: 0/10
Ease of Use: 2/10
Packaging: 10/10

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not super familiar with MAC’s mascaras. I do know that Plush Lash is my favorite, but other than that I’ve only tried Zoom Lash. Mascara is the only product where drugstore brands are my favorite-Maybelline Great Lash will always be top 5! That being said, when I went into MAC for my routine restock of face products, I decided to ask one of the girls working for a mascara recommendation. I have extremely straight lashes, that I have to curl for what feels like ever. I have never found a mascara that can give me that awesome curl, though some have come close, and added length and volume- which is what I was looking for.  I normally never ask the girls there for anything, because none of them ever know what the heck they’re talking about. The one I spoke with told me this mascara was “AMAZING!”. That was 3 months ago, and while I loved the application the first few times, things went downhill after that. Now, the fullness/curl/length you get from this mascara is not even close to what you’d expect for what you pay. Let’s break it down a little..

The mascara comes with a dual brush, the first one is the “Daytime” brush, the smaller opening. This smaller opening cleans off the brush, leaving little amount of product, which is supposed to give less of that dramatic lash but still leaving them longer and fuller:

The second brush, the “Evening” end allows for more mascara to sit on the brush (even though it’s the same brush), giving it that “fat” look. Meant for a more dramatic, nighttime look:

And here’s a picture of them side by side

I adore the idea of this mascara! The “daytime”/”nighttime” thing is brilliant! It’s like.. two mascaras in one, use the smaller brush for a less is more daytime look (work?), and the nighttime brush for that dramatic lash (after work cocktails?)-LOVE THAT. Does this mascara deliver that? No, not at all. Like I said, while the idea was there, there is so much room for improvement. For starters.. the formula is awful. It was extremely goopy and got chunky after a while. Also, after a couple uses, the dual brush became hard to use. Using the bigger wand was a mess! It was goopy, it got all over my hands, all over the tube.. horrible! I think the reason for this is partly the dual brush. It’s hard to explain, but since you pull the smaller wand out of the larger one, it leaves all that gooped up mascara that it pulled off all clumped up in the tube. So, the next time you go take out the larger wand… OH HI MASCARA ALL OVER THE PLACE! See what I mean?

So all in all, I did NOT like this mascara. I will not be repurchasing it..ever. I’m going to review something that I love next, because I feel like this was such a negative review. I’m just not a fan of having mascara all over the place, more on my hands than my eyelashes. I will say that the packaging is super cute. *thumbs up for that*!

Till next time..

I’m going to add a disclaimer to this post- It IS New Year’s Eve… and I’m sitting here with a half empty bottle of wine. Just beware. Haha. I’m pretty sure that I say this every year, but I am SO ready for a new year, although I don’t make resolutions like most people do. I don’t think that if you have to wait until a new year to change yourself, you’re going to stick to it. If I want to do something for the better, I’m doing it NOW. Just like how I joined the gym a couple months ago, I had no reason to wait until the new year. I do believe in the new year being a fresh start. Putting everything bad and wrong that happened to you the previous year behind you and leaving it there. I have had a very trying year. I never could have imagined all the trials and tribulations that I would face this year, I definitely think that it changed me. For the better. I had so many amazing moments this year though that definitely outweigh the bad. Of course, we lost Chad this year..way too young, and very unexpectedly. I lost my “best friend” this year as well. That was more recent. The way I see it though, she left my life so I would have room for all the amazing friends that I’ve made. There comes a time when you realize that people can always stay in your heart, but there’s no longer a place for them in your life, and I’m content with that. I’ve met so many amazing friends that truly care about me, my family has had some tough times and we have come together and proved how strong we are as a unit- even miles apart, I have an amazing transcendent love that has surpassed so many hardships…fights, jealousy, distance.. everything is in place right now. I’m hoping that I can walk into 2012 with my head held high, and stay as driven and as passionate about life as I am now. I want SO many things for myself this year, and I truly do think this is my year. I just need to make it happen! Enough of my drunken ramblings…who doesn’t like end of the year recap questions?!

1.What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?

Sang in public. I LOVE singing, but I didn’t do it until this year.

2.Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don’t make resolutions.. but, I did join the gym this year!

3.Did anyone close to you give birth?
No.

4.Did anyone close to you die?
Yes.. RIP Chad Bryan <3

5.What countries did you visit?
None.

6.What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
Better focus, better drive..productivity. I have a lot of ambitions and things I want to do, and I want to do them THIS YEAR!

7.What date from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
July 2nd, we lost Chad that night. August 8th, had the BEST birthday with my lover and my friends. September 20th, the night of my accident.

8.What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Leaving a job I felt stuck in for 5 years, finding a new fresh start.

9.What was your biggest failure?
Getting in my car accident. 2 steps forward, to take 5 steps back. It left me carless, helpless, and having to rely on people. Which I hate doing.

10.Did you suffer illness or injury?
Injuries, yes. Again, from my accident.

11.What was the best thing you bought?
Haha.. My car. Which I don’t have anymore.

12.Whose behavior merited celebration?
My mother. I wouldn’t have made it through this year without her. Hell, the last 22 years..

13.Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
My, I guess ex, best friend.. Erica. At least I learned from it though.

14.Where did most of your money go?
Bills, where else?

15.What events did you get really, really, really excited about?
My boyfriend being here for my birthday topped everything this year.

16.What song will always remind you of 2011?
Anything by Bruno Mars.. haha. Probably “Just the Way You Are”

17.Compared to this time last year, are you:
i.happier or sadder? Happier.
ii.thinner or fatter? Thinner.
iii.richer or poorer? Richer.

18.What do you wish you’d done more of?
Sleep.

19.What do you wish you’d done less of?
Stress out.

20.How will you be spending Christmas? 
I spent Christmas with my family.

21.Who did you spend the most time on the phone with?
My boyfriend.

22.Did you fall in love in 2011?
More in love, if that’s possibly.

23. How many one-night stands?
Zero!

24. What was your favorite TV program?
Grey’s Anatomy.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Yes.

26. What was the best book you read?
90 Minutes in Heaven

27. What was your greatest musical discovery or rediscovery?
Nicki Minaj!

28. What did you want and get?
A better job.

29. What did you want and not get?
Bills paid off..

30. What were your favorite films of this year?
Grown Ups.

31.What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 22, I spent that day and night with my lover and my friends. It was a GREAT night.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
NOT totaling my car. Heh.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
Comfortable.

34. What kept you sane?
Friends, Family, My Love.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most/least?
ADELE, Please! She is AMAZING.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Eh, none in particular that I can think of at this moment.

37. Whom did you miss?
J of course..

38. Who was the best new person you met?
I can’t pick just one. I made so many amazing friends this year. Brandie, Baby Linds, Mama Shayna, J Byrd.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011:
ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS tell the people you love that you love them, every chance that you get. You never know when the last time they will hear it will be.

40. Do you have any lost feelings of others.
Yes.

41.Quote a song that sums up your year:
“You just gotta ignite, the light, and let it shine
Just own the night like the 4th of July

‘Cause baby you’re a firework
Come on, show ‘em what you’re worth
Make ‘em go “Oh, oh, oh”
As you shoot across the sky

Baby, you’re a firework
Come on, let your colors burst
Make ‘em go “Oh, oh, oh”
You’re gonna leave ‘em all in awe, awe, awe”

MERRY FREAKING CHRISTMAS!!! 

I have so much to be thankful for this year, it’s unreal. I hope you all are spending this time with the ones that you love, because that’s what’s really important around the holidays. That’s what matters. I wish I could be with my family in California right now. I have an uncle who just had a really bad heart attack that’s in the hospital. When he had his heart attack, he was on the treadmill, he fell and hit his head bad. They’ve been keeping him in a coma-like state since it happened for fear of brain damage. I think we find out some time this week if they’re just going to take him off the ventilator. Apparently they tried to wake him up…and he just kind of stared into space. It’s heartbreaking. I’m so glad that I got to see him over the Summer. You never think anything bad is every going to happen to you or those you love until it does. You never know when you tell someone you love them if it will be the last time. I’m making it a point to tell the people I love them that I love them..every day of my life, for as long as I can. I’m also hoping to save bits of my check/change for a Christmas in California next year. I think that will be an awesome incentive to pinch pennies! But, enough of the sappy, downer stuff!

I’ve had an amazing Christmas..filled with presents, Christmas tamales, and family time. I’m about ready to pop in some of my old baby videos and be nostalgic. Did Santa bring all of you everything you wanted? What’d you get?? I love seeing people’s presents and hearing about people’s different Christmas traditions. My family eats tamales every year.. what about yours? (Also-random tradition that I heard of for the first time this year.. A PAJAMA ELF?!! That brings Christmas PJs on Christmas Eve for everyone! How cute is that? I love that, definitely saving that idea for the future).

I didn’t get to unwrap what I asked Santa for.. It hasn’t arrived yet. Granted, I just decided what I wanted about 3 days ago, so I’ll cut the guy a break. I’m in the process of re-doing my bedroom..so I asked for this bed and this bedding:

I did get a few things from MamaBear so I had something to unwrap… just some cutesie things, makeup, etc.

And who could forget my lovely, adorable Ewok I received the other day, completely out of the blue, from the love of my life. <3 Now if I could only get some bling from him. Haha.

See you all in the New Year!! Be safe and enjoy the rest of the Holidays.

Sorry for the hiatus…this time of year is always super busy for me. Things are going really well though. My professional and personal life seem to be in a good place right now. Finally. I’ve been waiting for that cool, calm, and collected routine. I am always up for a good change in things, but I have always been content in routines. I’m loving the way everything is falling into place at the moment. So..onto what I did!

Ever since I got into my car accident I have had this quote drilled into my mind.

“Let your faith be bigger than your fear“.

For me, that means a ton of things. It’s not only a reminder to always have faith..even in the darkest of situations, but also to never let your fear get the best of you. Everyone in my life was afraid for me.. Afraid I wouldn’t drive again, afraid that I would be scared for the rest of my life. Of course, every time I get into a vehicle (whether I’m driving or not), I have that little voice in the back of my mind. Every time I drive home and pass where I wrecked, because I pass it twice a day, I get a sinking feeling in my stomach. The point is that I’m not letting it stop me, I’m continuing to live my life, because I have a new found faith. One I didn’t have before, and it truly is bigger than my fears.

I’m so so happy that I did it! It was a spur of the moment decision when I woke up on Tuesday morning. I’ll always have it to remind me that I’m still here.. and not to let fear ruin your life. <3

That’s all for now. I won’t be gone for such a long time this go around. I hope you all have an amazing Christmas spent with loved ones, and that Santa brings you everything you asked for and more.

I love “Memes”. Not only does it give me something to actually post about, but it’s fun reading everyone else’s as well. I was tagged by my lovely friend. Cinda… on the 6th. Just noticed it now, sorry girl! Haha. I’ve been in a crazy room re-do frenzy! Will blog about that as it all comes together. It’s been… tiring. Anyways, let’s get to it!

What time did you wake up this morning? I didn’t wake up until about 12:30-1:00 PM. I went out the night before, didn’t get in until around 3. Plus, I’m a lover of sleeping in regardless.

What do you like most about yourself? Physically, I really like my eyes. I’ve always gotten comments on them. They’re just plain brown eyes, but they’re biiig! In general? I’m hilarious.

What do you like least about yourself? Physically? My weight obviously, but I’m working on that. In general? I’m a horrible procrastinator. Granted, I will get things done.. but I pretty much have to force myself. I wish that I was more of a “COME ON LET’S DO THIS!” person.

Can you sing? Short answer-Yes.

Can you dance? No no no no!

Do you smoke? Yes.. that’s all I’ll say about that!

Do you drink? I do. Couple beers after work a few nights a week. I don’t drink the “hard” stuff, or drink to get drunk unless it’s my birthday and someone is buying. Ha.

Can you swim? Yes. I don’t enjoy it though.. I’ve NEVER liked water in my eyes, ever.

Year you were born? 1989

Favorite color? PINK!

Sleep with or without clothes? With! I get too cold. Plus, like Cinda said, I have tons of cute pajama sets.

Sleep with or without socks? Without. I always go to sleep with them on and end up kicking them off in the middle of the night.

What time do you go to bed? It all depends on if I work the next day or not, and what time. Most nights I’m in bed by 12.

I’m back, a month later, with a relatively lackluster post. Being back is all that matters though, right? With today being Friday and all, I decided to start participating in the ‘Fill in the Blank Friday’ posts that I’ve seen a few of my favorite bloggers doing. If you’d like to join in tonight, or next Friday.. the posts can be found here.

1. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a singer.

2. As an adult, my dream job would be hairstylist/makeup artist/salon owner.

3. When I was younger, I wanted to be just like Christina Aguilera, pre “Dirrrty”.

4. The childhood Halloween costume that I remember most was when I was Jasmine, from Aladdin. My cousin and I had the same costumes, our moms made them.

5. My favorite childhood toy was my Nintendo 64. 

6. The time I got into the biggest amount of trouble when I was a kid was when I said a very…colorful word to a neighbor kid. Rhymed with duck. 

7. I get daily inspiration from music, scenery, people I see, Pinterest!  (If you HAVE a Pinterest- you should follow me, I need new people to follow! - http://pinterest.com/BareCanvas/ )

Since this week’s Fill in the Blank was about Childhood.. here’s some nostalgia for your ass :

More like a boulder! As I lay here in bed…bruised, swollen, and cut up- I can’t help but be thankful to be alive to feel that I’m hurt.

Let’s rewind to Tuesday night. When I was on my way home, literally two turns away from the street my house is on. I don’t remember a lot from what happened (Although, CAT Scans proved I had no head trauma/concussion..so I must  have just blocked it out), I wasn’t on the road anymore. I was spinning. I felt myself let go of my steering wheel, knowing I had completely lost control, knowing I was going to die..and just sitting there letting it all happen. Then I came to a stop and there I was: Upside-down. Half of my body stuck in my car, half hanging out of my car window. I remember lying there for a moment just thinking this cannot be real, this cannot be happening. Then I was screaming..not only from the complete shock of it all, considering it was my first real accident, but also screaming for someone to save my life. I realized that my legs were stuck in my seatbelt, it was hopeless. I was completely trapped. I wiggled and wiggled trying to free myself from the belt that was keeping half of my body stuck in the car. I felt my foot touch my steering wheel, and after freaking out realizing my placement in the car, I laid my foot on my horn while I screamed just praying and hoping that someone would hear me.

Like a miracle, and out of no where, there he was. In a split second he had run across the road screaming to me, asking me if I was alright. I then heard him run to the side of the car I was on, lots of breaking noises (I found out later that he had literally ripped my door off), he undid my seatbelt and I slid right out of the car. I stood up, turned around and faced my car, the car that some amazing stranger had just risked his life to pull me out of. He immediately ran into the road to flag down an oncoming car. I just stood there crying and cussing in disbelief. The ambulance and cops arrived after what seemed like no time at all. I felt like I was in a movie, like it was all happening so quickly and I was just watching from the sidelines. When in fact, I was the star of this “movie”. They asked me a few questions, but realizing I was so shaken up they just put me in the ambulance and off I went to the emergency room.  A few hours and X-Rays/CAT Scan/Tetanus Shot/Pain Medicine later, I was in my Mom’s car.. on my way home.

(You can click the images if you’d like to see the full version)

I did lay in bed hopped up on pain medicine for the next two or so days. I eventually had to go see my car yesterday. Since it was registered to me, unless I had died, I’m the only one who can look through it. I saw it and immediately started bawling. Did this really happen? My mom went with me and she could barely look at it. When she got the call on Tuesday night, she actually had to pass my car on the way to seeing me in the ER. She thought that I was dead. Actually, I haven’t stopped hearing that I should be dead. That no one would have made it out of that accident. The guy at the tow yard told me that everyone who came in and saw my car said that they felt sorry for whoever was in that car and for their family.

I normally don’t believe in stuff like this but I might as well tell this story as well: On July 2nd, I was on my way to meet my best friend at the bar, when I get a call from another friend of mine. I go to answer it, and there’s a police officer on the other end. He proceeded to tell me that my friend’s son (who lives in Texas) had been in a car accident and I needed to come to her house immediately because she was shaken up. I turn my car around and head that way, calling my best friend in the process. I wasn’t prepared for that night. I wasn’t prepared to walk into her house to her laying on the floor crying screaming “He’s dead, Brandi! He’s dead!” It was beyond horrifying and I haven’t gotten that picture out of my mind still. My friend’s 20 year old son lost his life that night in a car accident. He had so much to live for, so much going for him. Ever since that night, I have kept a picture of him in my car, right where I can always see it.

My mom went to search the scene when she got me home from the hospital (I was missing my phone, which we later recovered in my car) She was trying to see if by some miracle she could find it. Of course, she couldn’t. Want to know what she did find?

My ChadChad. Lying face up in the grass next to one of my shoes. Like I said, I was never the super religious type, I didn’t believe in much of anything. I do now. I know that that baby boy was there with me the entire time. I know that he had my back and was with me saying “Nope, Brandi…not you too”.  I know that he is my guardian angel, and that he as well as God were watching over me. Because there is absolutely no way that I should be able to be telling you all about this accident, about what happened to me. As they always say “At least you lived to tell the tale”. I am so thankful to be alive. I have a new found respect for my life. God must have big plans for people like me that make it out of such horrific tragedies for the most part unscathed.

Like I said, for the most part I have just cuts and bruises. Which can heal. I also have lumps on either of my thighs from being trapped in the seatbelt and having my circulation cut off for so long. It’s hard to walk, and they’re pretty numb, but day by day they’re getting a little less hard to take. All of this is small and meaningless compared to what could have happened. To what all my loved ones could have to be dealing with right now. I can hardly bare the thought. Again… I am so grateful to be alive. Hoping this boulder in my road won’t hold me down for long.

Til next time… <3